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Terminator: Salvation directed by McG

In 1984, James Cameron made a time-travel movie, with a scary killer robot with an Austrian accent who had come back from the future to kill a drop-out waitress not for anything she had done, but for what she would do. Its groundbreaking special effects and twisty story blew people’s minds a little and (along with Conan) helped establish the career of one of our times biggest action heroes and most surprising political figures, Arnold Schwarzenegger.  In 1991, he revisited that story and those characters in one of the best sci-fi/action films ever made, establishing the character of John Connor, concieved in the first film and destined to be the heroic leader of humanity’s Resistance against the onslaught of the machines.

Then in 2003, Cameron pissed all over that previous movie with a lame-duck half-assed story where the raison d’etre appeared to be having a hot “female” Terminatrix. Yeah.

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Nerdcore Rising by Negin Farsad

So this is not going to be one of my more usual reviews, although there will be one down-post aways. Be patient. See, late Tuesday night I got an e-mail from the Nerdcore Rising mailing list, telling me that the film was going to be shown at the AFI Film Festival here in Dallas and that mailing list members could possibly be gotten into the afterparty by RSVPing to the film’s “gracious sponsors Reel FX.” Thankfully, I didn’t consider that it might be an April Fool’s joke and immediately sent an e-mail to ask if the party was Thursday or Friday night. Wendy from Reel FX confirmed that it was Thursday…and then a few hours later she e-mails me again asking if I want interview time with Negin and MC Frontalot for my blog. I am not an idiot, dear readers; of course I want interview time! She lets me know that they can probably get me in before the sound check for a few questions, so…wait sound check! MC Frontalot will be performing? I didn’t think this story could get better, but read on for the interview, the review, and the better… (more…)

Stargate SG-1: The Ark of Truth

So I’m reasonably sure this is the first time I’ve reviewed a Direct-to-DVD feature.  I’m also sort of live-blogging it, which is another first, but I really feel like my book backlog is too absurd to tackle right now, and I’d like to get something on this site before too much more time has passed.

This is a continuation of the Stargate SG-1 Ori saga that occupied the show’s last couple of seasons before it ended last year, and there’s a “Prelude” recap that does a decent job summing up the relevant events if you feel like you’ve been away from the show for too long.  The movie opens with a lot of helicopter shots of majestic snow covered mountains, backed by the still stirring strings and chant of the original movie’s main theme.  It then reveals that this is not earth, but a world populated by the Ancients long ago and far away.  They have developed a weapon called the Ark of Truth that could force the Ori to capitulate, but refuse to use it for (not unreasonable) ethical reasons.

Flash to present day on Dakara, a sacred world to the Jaffa, and the capitol of their fledgling government up until the Ori blew it to bits, and apparently the final resting place of the Ark’s shipping crate, which SG-1 has discovered.  Vala is bitchy because she hates the desert…something which I sympathize with, but she’s still obnoxious.  Whoops, here come the Ori!  Oh, and Sam is with SG-1.  So I guess this is set some time ago, seeing as she’s “now” the commander of Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy. (more…)

Beowulf (IMAX 3-D)

All hail Gaiman and Avary! All hail Zemeckis! All hail these men, these wizards of men, for they have made Magic!

Beowulf is a stunning accomplishment. A computer animated film that pushes past the Uncanny Valley into beauty that often surpasses what reality could produce and film could capture. A story that has captivated for over a millenium, realized in new depth by artists who appreciate both the mythic nature of the tale and the realities of the culture that originally sang it in mead halls and firelit gatherings of all sorts. And what artists! By the end of the film, my mouth was dry from my jaw hanging open and my eyes were watering from the sheer wonder of it!

First, the 3D is astonishing, and gave not a hint of the cheap, sloppy-layered appearance that so many 3-d features have. Images have depth in every dimension and texture, not simply depth separating one element from another. I am certain that this movie will blow you away if you see it on a regular screen, but in my opinion you would be doing yourself a disservice if you have any opportunity to see this in 3-D and accompanied by IMAX sound and never make that attempt. Second, the setting…immaculately detailed in both its beauties and its harshnesses. This is a story set in, and told about, a world of men whose culture is not our own. They had different values, different expectations and mores, standards for what is acceptable and what is admirable that might surprise some, but should make the heartstrings of any medievalist swell and thrum (particularly in the portion where the original Anglo-Saxon is sung). Third, the acting and animation, two features that cannot be separated. Never before have digital characters been so expressive of the analog motions and emotions of the human beings they portray. Flawless voice acting is matched to flawless motion capture and layered over and over in amazing art of astonishing detail.

I cannot recommend this film highly enough. I feel privileged to have been able to see it, and privileged to live in a time when it could be made.

The Transformers

The Transformers is the coolest movie I have ever seen.

If I have to explain to you who or what Transfomers are, you’re in the wrong place, so I won’t try and do that. If I have to explain to you who Michael Bay is, or why some people raised a red flag when he took up the project of creating a live-action movie based on one of the most popular and influential cartoon and toy lines of my generation, well, you probably live in a cave. From the earliest reports, though, Michael Bay was hailed by people involved in the project as a True Fan, and this movie bears that out. Every element of how chameleonic robots whose every joint is reconfigurable and who have integrated wings, jets, wheels and weapons might move, both casually and at combat speed, has been lovingly imagined and meticulously realized. Autobots and Decepticons are distinct in their motivations and characters, and the unique qualities of the different vehicles and robots are exploited wherever possible. (more…)

X-Men III: The Last Stand

The best part of this movie-going experience was the teaser trailer for Snakes On A Plane, or more specifically, the mixed reaction of the audience, with a portion applauding and hooting, and the rest completely baffled (one guy behind me actually said “Are they joking? Is that actually coming out?”). This is not meant as a harsh judgement of the movie…it just couldn’t top my delight in that moment.

X-Men III is a movie-universe-only film. Leave your comic/cartoon-based preconceptions and character knowledge with the other half of your ticket-stub, because they could seriously damage any enjoyment you might wring out of this film, and there are some juicy bits of mutant tastiness to be had. Oh…and be prepared for some losses…OK, a lot of losses. Like, “Oh my God, they did not just do that” losses. Followed by “What? But they already…in one movie?” losses.
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The Giallo Collection

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Ever since I discovered Dario Argento, I have enjoyed a style of Italian movies called Giallo. Giallo are violent suspense thrillers, usually involving ultra-hip people, at least one English-speaking star, topless women, and overly gory death scenes with bright red blood (think tomato red paint). Recently NetFlix sent me three different Giallos: Short Night of Glass Dolls, The Case of the Bloody Iris, and Who Saw Her Die?.

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Ultraviolet starring Milla Jovovich

I saw Ultraviolet on Saturday of its opening weekend, because I’m a complete Milla Jovovich fanboy and have a high tolerance for schlock (which I was wise enough to expect, going in).

Milla could not save this film. It’s possible that a graphic Jovovich/Jolie girl-on-girl scene could not have saved this film, had such a mind-exploding thing ever been filmed. More vitriol (with possible mild spoilers) below the cut.
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Scott Spiegel’s Intruder

Starring Renee Estevez, Elizabeth Cox, Ted Raimi, Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell cameo

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Intruder is one of those highly messy 80’s slasher movies that were recommended to me via NetFlix. I can’t say it was highly stimulating in plot or acting, but if you are looking for lots of blood and gore, this would qualify.

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Alfred Hitchcock’s To Catch a Thief

Starring Grace Kelly, Cary Grant

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“Are you sure you were talking about water skis? From where I sat it looked as though you were conjugating some irregular verbs.”

To Catch a Thief is now one of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock movies. It has a great story, snappy dialogue, and sizzling lead actors. The whole movie sparkles like the diamonds and champagne that Grace Kelly wears and drinks.

On the French Riviera, someone is stealing the very fancy jewelry from very rich vacationing up and ups. Of course, everyone suspects John Robie (Cary Grant), who was an expert thief called “The Cat” in his former life. Robie knows he is innocent, so he gets an insurance agent to help him go undercover and lure the thief into making a mistake. Along the way, he meets an American heiress named Frances Stevens (Grace Kelly) and her very loud mother. Frances isn’t entirely sure that Robbie isn’t just after her jewelry, but naturally, during the intrigue, they fall for each other. When the thief is caught, all is solved — but will they live happily ever after?

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