07/08/2005 10:14 AM
Posted by VeggieSteph

July 4th Movie Madness: The Bad

Here’s a look at the bad from this weekend: Cursed, White Noise.

Plus bonus! The Ugly: Alone in the Dark, Boogeyman.


...Read the rest of this entry... Posted by VeggieSteph

July 4th Movie Madness: The Bad

Here’s a look at the bad from this weekend: Cursed, White Noise.

Plus bonus! The Ugly: Alone in the Dark, Boogeyman.

The Bad

Cursed starring Christina Ricci, Jesse Eisenberg, Joshua Jackson.

I caught the unrated version of this one, because I’d heard it was a step above the theatrical version. If it was, I feel sorry for those who caught it in the theater. It was an okay werewolf movie, but there have been so much better put out there that it saddens me to see Wes Craven sunk so low. I think the original idea of three strangers attacked by a wolf would have been more entertaining that the estranged sibling issues they had going on in this. The surprise ending/twist was no real surprise, and the special effects were minor at best. There were some good jokes though, and I love Christina Ricci, so it was an okay rental. Portia de Rossi has a funny and worthwhile minor role as a fortuneteller. This one is for true Wes Craven or werewolf devotees only.

White Noise starring Michael Keaton, Chandra West, Deborah Kara Unger.

Pandabob says the EVP thing is downright silly. I think it’s damn creepy. The movie however, failed to deliver on the creep factor presented in the trailer. (The trailer creeped me out seriously.) It’s a nice mystery/thriller, but the final twist makes no sense. There are a few minor scares, but nothing that gets you out of your seat. Michael Keaton does a good job of playing the widower obsessed with contacting his dead wife through Electronic Voice Phenonmea. Chandra West is satisfying in her few scenes as the wife (I love her. I wish she’d get more work.) Deborah Kara Unger was okay too, but I really liked her better in Payback and The Game. I'd recommend it if you are a serious fan of Michael Keaton's, or if you are really, really into ghost-type stories.

The Ugly

Alone in the Dark starring Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, Tara Reid.

I should have known any movie that has Tara Reid starring as an archaeologist would be bad. It’s miscasting on par with Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist in The World Is Not Enough. This movie was groan-worthy bad. I love Christian Slater. I had hoped Windtalkers would have revived his career. It evidentially hasn’t. Uwe Boll should be drop-kicked out of Hollywood for directing such crap. At least House of the Dead had some stupid horror moments. Slater plays a sort of psychic detective who has to battle the evil things that you don't see. He finds these artifacts all over the world from this ancient tribe of Indians who guarded the gateway to Hell. People are after him, because, of course, the bad guys want to open up the gateway. This movie just made me feel like watching Hellboy again, because the plot is so similar and well, the acting and special effects in Hellboy were 100 times better. If you like the Alone in the Dark video game, please stay away. You will only be disappointed. However, if you loved House of the Dead, check it out. You will know what to expect.

Boogeyman starring Barry Watson and Emily Deschanel.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I love horror movies. I even love bad horror movies. This one however, was on par with Alone in the Dark. Barry Watson plays a troubled guy who returns home to bury his mother. He also returns to deal with some old demons (the ones he got after his Dad gets killed by the thing under the bed). They and Darkness Falls did the night terrors/boogeyman thing much better, with even better acting. (That should tell you something, because those movies weren’t that great either.) The plot is full of holes; the end is just plain silly. There isn’t even any good gore to make it worthwhile. This one is only worth watching if you are a completist who feels like they must see every horror movie ever made. Even then, I recommend you watch the SciFi channel instead.